


I Wish I Was Heather

by Dragon_Angel_6712



Series: OffGun Drabbles [2]
Category: Thai Actor RPF
Genre: Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Everything Hurts, F/M, Fanfiction, Hurt, Love Confessions, Pain, Random & Short, Sad Ending, Short One Shot, Tears, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28427304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_Angel_6712/pseuds/Dragon_Angel_6712
Summary: Off has always had feelings for Gun, knowing it was always unrequited. And today, Off reached his limits.
Relationships: Gun Atthaphan Phunsawat/Jane Ramida Jirranoraphat
Series: OffGun Drabbles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132355
Kudos: 3





	I Wish I Was Heather

**Perspective** : _Off_

_Today, I am going to tell him._

_Tell him about the secret in my heart._

_Which I have been carrying for so long._

_But would he listen? Listen to desperate cries?_

It was the company outing. Almost every GMMTV actor and people from departments like sound, editing, directing and etc were here. The club was fully booked. The band, Getsunova, somewhat working under GMMTV was also there performing.

Me and my friends, Arm and Tay and many other people were also there. Even though they all were my best mates, no one knew about my secret. And so they also didn't know I had a performance prepared. I was just waiting for the person to arrive to whom I want to-

My eyes landed on the entrance, my heart stopping. Seeing the person _I_ love was entering the club, for a moment I forgot the harsh reality. But then this foolish organ started hammering in a weird sensation, I'd like to refer as pain. The person _I_ love was entering the bar hand in hand with the person _he_ loves. Their smiles were so wide that it almost felt bad.

They walked up to our table, "Sawadee krub/kha!" They simultaneously greeted us. While Arm and Tay warmly greeted them back, all I could was nod my head at them. Tay and Arm invited them to sit with us. They settled in front of me. Being all over each other. Never looking away from each other.

It hurt seeing that.

It hurt seeing them so close to each other.

It hurt seeing the junior actress link both her arms on the junior actor's arm.

It hurt seeing her cling to him and him acting like it's nothing at all.

"P'Gun, I'd like to drink something."

"Oh my sweet cheeks, tell me what would you like to drink?"

"Um..." She playfully twirled her eyes, then she closed in on him and said, "Your lips." Tay and Arm both 'Whoa'ed as Gun chuckled and kissed her, while all I could do was sit and stare at them.

Just wishing I was her...

I got up, "Where are you going?" Tay asked me, "It's time for my performance." I said without looking back.

I walked to the stage and greeted the band. I asked and accepted the guitar and headed to the microphone, the crowd had quieted down, "This one is for all the people whose's love is unrequited." And the crowd roared.

I sat back on the stool and started playing the guitar as I started singing,

_I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater_

_You said it looked better on me than it did you_

_Only if you knew how much I liked you_  
_But I watch your eyes as she walks by_

_What a sight for sore eyes_

_Brighter than the blue sky_

_She's got you mesmerised while I die_

_Why would you ever kiss me?_

_I'm not even half as pretty_

_You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester_

_But you like her better_

_Wish I were Heather..._

_Watch as she stands with her holding your hand_

_Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder_

_But how could I hate her, she's such an angel_

_But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by_

_What a sight for sore eyes_

_Brighter than the blue sky_

_She's got you mesmerised while I die_

_Why would you ever kiss me?_

_I'm not even half as pretty_

_You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester_

_But you like her better_

_I wish I were Heather_

_Oh, I wish I were Heather_

_Oh, oh, wish I were Heather_

_Why would you ever kiss me?_

_I'm not even half as pretty_

_You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester_

_But you like her better_

_Wish I were..._

I opened my eyes. Tears were spilling out, my breaths, heavy, coming in and going out slowly. The whole crowd was either silent or sobbing. My eyes, still spilling, found him... Gun... And sitting beside him was his girlfriend, Jane Ramida. Tears, ready to spill, in their eyes. How could Gun not love the ever elegant Jane Ramida. Why would he love me, a mess of a man...

I gulped. I stood up and gave the guitar back to Noth, the guitarist of Getsunova and hurriedly walked down the stage, "Off wait!" And ran out the bar.

_Even after all this time..._

_I can't get why I can't move on..._

_I can't get why I can't let Gun go and be happy with the one who he loves..._

_I hate being so possessive..._

_Why can't I just be like the secret admirer Gun played in the series on which we worked together?_

_Everyone in the whole_ _GMMTV_ _knew how madly in love were Gun and Jane._

_They were as if two befitting puzzle pieces..._

_And me? Just someone always trying to come in between them..._

_To break them..._

_Maybe I should just go away._

_Go away from here..._

_Go away from them... And let them stay happy for once..._

_I love Gun too much to hurt him..._

_To separate him from the one he loves..._

_Yes. I will leave_ _GMMTV_ _and go somewhere far away from them..._

"P'Off..." I looked up to my right while sitting on the bench. The area around me was unknown. I didn't address him back. One moment he was standing there and the next he was sitting beside me, "What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same question..." I turned my head and looked at him, "What are you doing here?" Gun gazed into my eyes with an unreadable look, after a short while he said, looking away, "Come on, P'Off, I'll drop you home... It's cold out here."

I turned my head away.

" _Put your arm 'round her shoulder. Now I'm getting colder_... Since when did you start to think about me, Gun? To care about me?"

Even though I didn't see, Gun's eyebrows knitted and he looked at my side profile, "What do you mean P'Off? I always care about you-"

"No, you don't." Gun stopped. I looked back at him, "No, you don't Gun... You don't care about me the way you care about her..."

Gun's eyebrows knitted but released, "That's because she's my _faen_ , P'Off."

I turned my head away again, " _Chhai_... Because _she's_ your _faen_ , not me. Because _she's_ your other half, not me. Because _she's_ so special to you, not me."

I looked at him again.

"Because, _she's_ the love of your life, _not me_."

We gazed at each other for a moment.

" _Pom_ _khortoad_... For loving you this bad and for so long..."

Then I stood up and walked away leaving him there alone... In the cold. Thinking that my harsh behaviour towards him would help me move on from him.

But the tears cascading down my cheeks were the evidence I couldn't...

And maybe,

Just maybe, wouldn't too...

  
Damn, it hurts to know that you can't have the one you love...

|End|

Dated: December 25th 2020

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading 💜
> 
> Feedback is appreciated.


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